Locating Old Friends

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One of the tragedies of growing old is that you lose friends. I guess it’s either them or me. Sure there are new friends. Life goes on. But the old friends are linked with memories you don’t have with the new ones. I recently lost my closest friend of some 70 years and I miss him. I am left with three old friends still living and I have made an effort to keep in touch. Even relatives count. I keep in contact with first cousins I haven’t seen for a long time. One lives in North Carolina and the other still lives in my Brooklyn home town.

As a result, I decided to try to locate some old friends that I’ve lost touch with. With the internet and facebook, it was worth a shot. I found one, a friend that I haven’t seen for years, from both elementary and high school. It was great to talk to him and catch up. But what was painful was that several friends have died only recently and if I had been more aggressive, I would have found them before I found their obituaries. I haven’t given up yet. Some are a little more difficult to find and you have to be more resourceful. Women, in particular are difficult because I don’t know their married names. But that’s another problem. My wife who is still very much with me looks askance at me looking up old women friends, even if they were just friends.

Trying to find friends you remember can sometimes put you on the trail of friends you’ve forgotten about. My close military friends are all dead. I did find my old commanding officer who just left this mortal coil. I did talk to him and it was a joy. I lost one air force friend that I was in touch with just recently from covid. Another is apparently still alive doesn’t answer his phone. I don’t know what that means. In any case, it’s a challenge and very rewarding when you find and reach one. It makes up for the pathos from the ones you find too late.